1. Develop an awareness of your thoughts. We can get used to hearing our own self talk that it’s easy to become oblivious to the messages that we’re sending ourselves. It is when you are paying attention to what you’re thinking about and recognize that just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. Our thoughts are often exaggerated and biased!
2. Stop overthinking. When you make a mistake, or you’ve had a bad day, you may be tempted to re-play the events over and over in your head. But, repeatedly reminding yourself of that embarrassing thing you did, or that questionable thing you said, will only make you feel worse and it won’t solve the problem.
When you find yourself overthinking, instead of telling yourself to stop doing this, go and do your favourite activity, read a book or go for a walk. When we try to avoid thinking about something, the more we think about it! Doing something you enjoy will help you focus on that instead.
3. Ask yourself what the highest version of you would do. If you could see yourself in 20 years into the future and you could ask yourself how you would handle that situation, I am sure you would speak to yourself kindly and with your eternal wisdom. We are often most critical of ourselves and our inner critic can be quite mean sometimes. Instead be your own cheerleader, and ask that more evolved version of yourself, how would you handle that, or how would you show up to get the result you desire?
4. Consider how bad it would be if your thoughts were true. It can be tempting to envision a mishap turning into a complete catastrophe. But often, the worst case scenario isn’t actually anywhere as bad as what we think it would be! I always ask my clients, how bad can it be? For example, if you predict that you’re going to bomb that presentation, ask yourself how bad would that actually be? But also, look at the flip side. What if you actually did so well on that presentation that your brand became more visible? What if you actually received praise and became a go to expert within your area after wowing your audience? Reminding yourself that you can handle tough times or problems increases your confidence and decreases the critical or worrisome thoughts. And also reminding yourself “what if” can give you the fuel for the fire you need to go through with it.
5. Focus on self growth and accept the journey.While your inner critic may be holding you back from leading at the level you desire, it is always great to remind yourself that growth is an evolution and you are part of this journey. Focus on telling yourself “as I grow, I can master my inner critic through accepting the voice and knowing I am doing all I can to be the person I am meant to be.” Acknowledge your flaws and do something each day to better yourself.
And make friends with your inner critic. When that voice pops up telling you that you can’t do this or that, tell her (or him) that you acknowledge what it is saying but you are choosing to accept a different reality.
When you learn to quieten your inner critic, you become a catalyst to coach yourself through various situations.
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